Double Header: My Life with Two Penises by Diphallic Dude

dddI almost never read autobiographies. I read Agatha Christie’s when I was seventeen and that’s pretty much the last one. I made an exception for DDD’s (for Double Dick Dude as he’s known on Reddit). I missed the whole AMA on Reddit last year, and I can’t even find the link for you guys… Anyway, I saw this on queerty.com and went wild on the net reading everything I could about this guy. That was enough for me to buy the book.

DDD is openly bisexual. In his book, you’ll read about his experiences with both genders and you can’t even tell if he’s got a preference. Perhaps a perfect 3 on the Kinsey scale but he doesn’t rate himself, so that’s just my guess.

I wrote a gay romance novel, or M/M romance as they’re called, with a bisexual character. My character sleeps with girls although he knows he’s attracted to guys then he falls in love with one. As I read Double Header, what moved me was the description he makes of what he likes in both men and women: oh my, wow, just…. wow:

Women, I love them. The way the smell, the feel of their body the smoothness of their skin. Cupping a pair of breasts while kissing my way across her collar bone to her ear is heaven. The curve of a woman’s hips and the way they feel in my hands when I’m doing the business, intoxicating.

Dude, Diphallic (2014-12-25). Double Header: My Life with Two Penises (Kindle Locations 244-246). DDD Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Men , I love them. The scent of their body, the strength in their muscles curls my toes. I love brushing my lips along a strong jaw-line. It might have a dusting of hair, rough and prickly. It might be smooth like velvet, following it back behind his ear… RAWR!

Dude, Diphallic (2014-12-25). Double Header: My Life with Two Penises (Kindle Locations 251-253). DDD Publishing. Kindle Edition.

I’m just quoting the first few sentences on each subject. Read the book. But holy shit! THAT’S what I wanted my character to say! That’s what he feels! Yes!!!! THAT’s what being bisexual is! And the descriptions go on, hotter and hotter.

The sex experiences he tells point to a fabulous career in writing erotica if he so wishes. I’d buy his erotica novels without hesitating.

But what was the most pleasurable for me (yup, more than the exciting sex scenes) is discovering a nice, well-rounded individual who’s very generous in sharing his experiences with a medical condition so rare only one in 5 million are born with it, and many babies die from it. He’s also terribly patient when answering again and again and again whether he’ll one day do porn, from people not bothering to read his AMA or his FAQ on his tumblr. He’s said no so many times, always politely too, I think if it were me, I’d make my blog header NO I WON’T DO PORN STOP ASKING out of sheer frustration. Seriously. He answers everyone’s questions in detail with a disarming candor, you can ask him anything on the AMA link on his tumblr. And people do ask him anything. And he’s a good sport.

When I finished the book, I said to myself, ‘wouldn’t it be nice to have coffee with this guy, just to chat, he’s so witty, smart, funny’. No, we wouldn’t have to talk about them, I wouldn’t want to see them, (his tumblr has terrific photos of his two dicks and his beautiful hands), I don’t want to have sex with him to see what it’s like – yes, internet, that’s how much in love I am with my husband. I’d skip sleeping with a dude with two penises as rare as kryptonite but would love to have coffee with him. The only thing is, his anonymity is very important to him, (and I understand, really), and unless there’s a chance of getting it on with someone, DDD doesn’t tell anyone he’s got two dicks, so the coffee’ll never, ever happen. I can always dream…

Follow him on twitter, he’s really fun: @diphallicdude

Sex rating for young teens: no way in hell are you prepared to read this. Your hand will burn when touching the screen. But don’t forget to read it on your 18th birthday. You’ll learn a thing or two. And not just what it’s like to have two dicks.

Perfect Day by Josh Lanyon

perfectday I know, I know, I just reviewed another book by Josh Lanyon. But I love him so….

This is the perfect short story. Perfect Day is just one day in the lives of the two main characters, it’s only 136 KB but succeeds in telling a complete story of love and pain, a hurt/comfort situation if you know what that is, and it’s perfect.

It’s also my inspiration for my story I will be writing for Nanowrimo next week, it’s that nice.

When you think love is unattainable, just one day can make your world tilt on its axis.

The Boy with the Painful Tattoo by Josh Lanyon

painfultattoo Someday I’ll own all Josh Lanyon’s books. Until then, I’ll read the ones I can afford. The Adrien English series has already been the subject of a post on Worming the Books.

This is book 3 in the Moriarity/Holmes series. I liked the first two, but this one is really good. My favourite of this series so far. Josh Lanyon has his own wonderful writing style and it shines on in this book.

My favourite quote:

I am exercising my little gay cells, mon ami.

Josh Lanyon, The Boy With The Painful Tattoo

For any Agatha Christie fan like me, this one is delicious.

The intrigue is great, the dialogue is scrumptious, the jokes are really funny – I sometimes laughed out loud – and the relationship between the two main characters is coming along nicely. I hope there’s more.

Funny though… there’s not much about the boy with the painful tattoo in the story…

 

New Beginnings by Kyle Adams

newbeginningsKyle Adams is known mostly for funny and raunchy gay erotica. Dirty Cop is probably his most famous so far. Kyle’s pen is light and fun and he’s really good at describing kinky, teasing and humorous sex scenes. He’s contributed with another writer, Gina A. Rogers, for A Gay Romance. I prefer his solo writing.

This story is kinda short, novella length, but it’s a bit different from what he’s written before and much longer (his previous work was really, really short stories with lots of hot and heavy and sometimes funny sex). It’s a love story. With some sex, of course. Because he writes really good sex scenes (I know I’ve already said that. I’ll say it again. He’s my favourite sex scene writer).

It’s the story of a guy, in a happy couple for eight years, who suddenly gets dumped, no reason or explanation given. It’s really sad. We’ve all been there.

But there’s more. It’s not what he thinks. And yes, there’s a happy ending. Yay! I like those.

Well written, fresh and funny. I recommend it. Less erotica than his previous work, more feeling, a bit more serious, a lot more depth. Kyle Adams can write a really good romance. Who knew.

(Ha! I knew it all along.)

The Art of the Heart by Dan Skinner

artheart It’s 1965 in a small town in the heartland of America and Zac is different. Not only is he gay, he’s shy, introverted and extremely talented. He can reproduce a scene with his pencil in his notebook and his observations come alive on the pages. Zac develops a huge crush on a neighbour, Rory, and he draws what he can’t have in his notebook. It’s the start of a wonderful, elegant short story told by Dan Skinner who I love. This guy writes so simply yet so beautifully that one sentence contains everything it needs and nothing more.

It’s very short, and I was disappointed when it ended because the last pages of the book are actually chapter 1 of Memorizing You. The way this story ends is very sweet though and I could forgive Dan Skinner pretty much anything so I’ll just read it over again when I want more.

Caution: nothing explicit but yeah, there’s some sexual content.

Hooked on a Feeling by Ainslie Paton (and Sixteen Reasons)

hooked It’s 1975, Gayle is separating from her cheating husband and has to move into a new neighbourhood with her 8-year-old son Dean, when divorce is still taboo and women mostly work in health care or education when they do work.

It’s got a hot Vietnam vet, an even hotter architect, a nice neighbour, a darling little girl Kim who becomes best friends with Dean and a sick puppy. It’s got a really cool playlist if you listen to all the songs as they come along in the book. It’s peppered with “Far out”s and disco and Australian ’70’s expressions like “dag”, “groovy”s and platform shoes. It’s got two gorgeous love stories twined together.

And it’s Ainslie Paton, so you have moving sentiments described in the most beautiful, hard and raw metaphors.It’s also got a very interesting scene involving a washing machine.

I loved it, I read it with relish and didn’t want it to end. I’d read more about Hazel and Steve (hot Vietnam vet and nice neighbour mentioned above).

“You want to know the best thing in my week?

“Why not, since we’re being such responsible adults right now.”

“When you bring Dean to the car in the morning.”

She laughed. “What on earth is special about that?”

“You smile at me.”

Paton, Ainslie (2014-08-01). Hooked On A Feeling (Kindle Locations 2122-2125). . Kindle Edition.

sixteen Then you have Sixteen Reasons, a parallel story of two of the Hooked teen characters. It’s a very cute short love story.

They’re not for kids, there’s sex in there. Yay!

Shattered Promises by Jessica Sorensen

I read the first book, Shattered Promises (free ebook), probably two years ago. I remembered I liked it and went to Amazon to buy any other books of the same series. ShatProm1

I found the Fallen Star series. I bought them all.

I started reading Fallen Star, only to realize that it was Shattered Promises all over again, but without the sex parts. You see, Jessica Sorensen wrote Fallen Star and its YA sequels first, then decided to revamp it with sex and stuff and resell it as Shattered Promises. I was fuming and decided not to read the rest of the YA series, keeping my interest for the full-adult version coming in the future.

To say I was disappointed is an understatement. I was so looking forward to reading the rest of this interesting story with a funky parallel universe and the characters and everything while I was clicking my purchases on amazon.ca. Then POW my bubble burst as I started reading Fallen Star (my investment so far: $9, big deal).

So fast-forward to about a month ago when I saw that Fractured Souls, Shatprom2 book 2 of Shattered Promises, was out. I remembered liking No. 1 so I bought it.

The premise of the first book is fun: this twenty-year-old girl Gemma has emotions for the first time in her life, bam, right in the college’s parking lot. She meets this girl in her class and has a friend for the first time in her life too (’cause you got no friends when you can’t feel anything, right?). This new friend has a hunk of a brother who appears in Gemma’s dreams. She wonders why. Then starts a whole sequence of events that explain why she had no feelings before, why she has them now, who is the mysterious gorgeous dude, and it goes on.

Book two, well, continues the story, it’s fun but missing a bit of the novelty of the first one. There’s repetition in the plot line and something that bothers me to no end, blatant unprotected sex. You just know that when your protagonists have unprotected sex so often there’s an unwanted pregnancy there somewhere, right? Nope, not in this one. But some mistakes and bad editing, which surprise me as Jessica Sorensen writes a shitload of books in different series. But still. I was hooked.

I bought book 3shatprom3 Broken Visions to see where the story was going, I was curious even if the main character was starting to seriously get on my nerves with her attitude and stupidity. I hate when the character becomes an idiot because it’s gonna help the plot. If the character had not made that stupid decision, the book wouldn’t be taking that direction. I understand we’re not all intelligent 24/7 and it’s normal to sometimes be bad but come on!! Seriously? Oh, and that unwanted pregnancy because they still have unprotected sex everywhere? Guess what the cliffhanger is at the end of book 3. Yup. I’m not spoiling anything here, folks, I think everyone reading this book saw this coming. And the blatant, huge grammar and spelling mistakes peppering this book made it hard to read for me. I checked some reviews on amazon.com and people just love this book so maybe it’s just me. But when I re-read a sentence three times to understand what the author’s trying to say because the grammar sucks so badly, I feel a bit cheated – okay, at CAN$4.41 it’s not expensive but book 1 was okay and it’s free so somewhere someone read it I(Kristin Campbell, editor, apparently) and made corrections. Book 2 and certainly book 3 need the same treatment.

I’m not buying book 4. I don’t care about that baby at all. Too bad/good for her. If book 4 is as badly edited as 2 and 3, I’m not spending my money on it just to realize that yes, dammit, the heroine is a misguided, immature idiot with superpowers.